How Does Change Affect Your Life

How Does Change Affect Your Life?

2/19/2024

How many people do you know that say they hate change? I have said that very sentence many times. I like things that stay constant, are reliable, and that I don’t have to worry about being different.

Maybe that is because I am a bit of an introvert. Or maybe, because there was too much change in my life growing up. But whatever the reason, I like it when I can rest in the assurance that things are the same.

I suspect many of you might agree with me on this matter.

But change is inevitable. Things that don’t change, die!

Let’s compare things not changing to the Dead Sea in the Middle East. Water flows into the Dead Sea. But it is the lowest point of ground in that area. There is no way for water to flow out of it. Because of this, there is no life in the Dead Sea. Any fish that flows into it from the Jordan River dies quickly. There is no water exchange in the Dead Sea. It is always the same. It can’t support life.

We are like that. If we don’t change or there isn’t change in our lives, we will die. Maybe not physically right away. But emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

After all, there is only one real constant in our life on earth. And that is change.

How do people deal with change?

Some people enjoy the challenge that the change will bring. They will embrace it with open arms.

Others may see the change and observe for a while to see how they will be affected or what might be required of them.

And another group will be kicking and screaming for things to remain as they were. These are the people that have the hardest time dealing with change and there are many problems with this mindset.

Of course, no one person will fall totally into one of these groups. A lot of it depends on where they are in their lives at the moment of the change. And it also depends on the type of change.

For example, always getting the breakfast cereal, Cheerios, and then switching to the store brand, Oat O’s, likely won’t cause a meltdown in most people.

But the big things in life; i.e. job change or loss, change in a relationship, loss of a loved one, a pet dying, the major events in life; are what people struggle with the most.

How do people handle these types of major changes? It depends on the person and event.

I know people where a person important to them died. In their grief and frustration, they turned to drinking. They had quit drinking years before. But they thought they could find the comfort they were seeking from the pain through the alcohol.

Others turn to other types of vises to ease the pain they are feeling; drugs, porn, illicit sex, etc. Things they might not normally do, but in their pain or frustration, seek solace in those things.

Some people lose their faith in God and blame Him when a bad change happens in their lives. After all, God is in control of everything. Couldn’t He have stopped this or not let it happen? Short answer, yes, He could have. Longer answer He had reasons we may never understand as to why He didn’t.

God sees the big picture of our lives. We only see a picture of our lives like a snapshot we took. I’ve heard the explanation that our lives are a tapestry. God sees the finished thing from above. We only see the loose threads underneath and want to pull at them or wonder why God doesn’t tighten them up. He leaves them as those loose threads make us into the person, He wants us to become.

Issues with Fighting Changes

The problem with the above responses is the physical and mental effects they can have on a person’s body. Most of these things can lead to a feeling of low self-worth, depression, sickness, and many other harmful things.

I am not saying by any means that sickness and depression are always caused by not accepting change. It is something that can happen. These things can be caused by other reasons also.

Think about it. If your mind is set on how much you don’t like this change in your life; what is going to happen? You will start dwelling on this displeasure. The more you dwell on it, the unhappier you will get. The unhappier you get; your body will produce various chemicals that can affect your health. This can lead to depression.

These chemicals causing depression can cause your body to have a weakened immune system, lower interest in sex, fatigue, increased pain sensitivity, weight fluctuations, risk of heart attack, feelings of clinginess, trouble with memory or decisions, preoccupation with death, insomnia and feelings of sadness or emptiness.

A person may feel they have lower self-worth due to doing things they know they shouldn’t be doing. Or from doing things they normally wouldn’t do. Again, this can spiral down to health and mental issues.

Our bodies are closely tied to our mental state. That is the way God made us. As Paul writes in 1^st Corinthians 12 verses 20 and 26. 20 ‘’But now they are many members, but one body.’’ 26 ‘’And if one member of the body suffers, all the members will suffer with it.’’ I have paraphrased it a little from the King James version.

I have experienced that recently myself. I had a minor surgery, but that one part of my body hurting made my entire body hurt. And in places I would have never imagined.

So, think how much more a person’s body will affected when in a stressed or depressed state.

And how much more will they be affected when they have also lost their faith? Now they are not only fighting the battle of the change by themselves, but the faith and God they relied on before are gone from them also. Not because God has left them. He will never leave a person. But they have left His shelter and peace.

It is hard to fight a battle and win when you are the only one fighting and you have no support. Okay, maybe if you were Chuck Norris, you could. But how many of us are Chuck Norris? LOL

The problem is, most of the time, the people in these situations of change don’t have to be alone in the change. Many are surrounded by friends, family, co-workers, etc. who may be going through the same thing. Or they are there for the person to talk with.

But how often does the person feel like they can’t reach out to others! They tell themselves other people won’t understand what they are going through. Or, who wants to listen to a person whine about their problems? After all, everyone has problems. The person might tell themselves that if they talk about what is bothering them or asking for help, it will mean they are weak and can’t do it on their own.

What is sad, I have heard and read a lot of responses through the years of advice given to people in these situations. Such as:

‘’Depression isn’t a real thing. Just cheer up and get over it.’’

‘’Why should a Christian be depressed? You have Jesus, He can handle anything.’’

‘’Just buck up, things will get better.’’

While each of these may sound innocent and have a good meaning, many times this leads the person to spiral deeper down. It tells them that what they are feeling isn’t real and they have no excuse or reason for feeling the way they do.

How should a person handle change?

Like anything in life; it is a process

First, accept that change is going to happen.

When it happens, evaluate; will this be a good change for me or will there be challenges regarding it?

If it is a good change, look at how you can integrate it more easily into your new reality.

If there will be challenges involved, look at the challenges and then see how you can face them one by one. Don’t look at all the challenges as a whole. That can be overwhelming. Take it piece by piece. As the old saying goes, ‘’You can’t eat an elephant in one sitting.’’ The same is true of accepting change. Everything can’t be solved at once.

When you are having struggles, find someone you can trust to talk with. Most likely, they aren’t going to condemn you but will be there to support and encourage you.

Find a healthy outlet to take your mind off the changes. Exercise is good as it can release endorphins to help you feel better. Find a group you can be part of. Take a class on something interesting to you. Pick up a new hobby.

Take time to pray, read your Bible, and trust God will get you through it.

I know some of these things can feel very scary. Especially if you are an introvert. I know that feeling. But these things can be helpful.

And if you are struggling with depression, GO SEE YOUR DOCTOR!!! As a Christian, I didn’t want to do this. I felt God could handle and heal all things. I can trust in Jesus. I don’t need any drugs for depression.

It is true, that God can heal all things. Sometimes He also uses doctors to help heal us.

I had a pastor who was a friend as well. We talked about it one day. He explained there is nothing wrong with a Christian needing medicine for depression. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. The meds just help to regulate these chemicals.

I can say it made a big difference in my life at that time.

That is the encouragement I give to all of you going through changes in your life. I hope it helps you handle changes in your life easier.

If you know of someone going through changes in their lives, be patient with them. Sometimes it takes them a while to figure things out. And sometimes it is an ongoing process. They may be doing better and then go through a time of struggle again.

Just listen if they want to talk. Sometimes, they may not make much sense in what they are talking about. Sometimes they may need to just cry or vent in anger or frustration. Or you might not agree with what they are saying. But be gentle with them. If you don’t agree, disagree softly. Let them know how much you care about them.

It might be as simple as asking them to go out for lunch with you or taking lunch to them if they don’t want to go out. Just sitting and watching a movie with them so they have companionship. Just being there for them.

Be a friend. I am by no means a doctor or medical professional. Just someone who has experienced life and seen people struggle with things as I have. Hopefully, some of this will be helpful for you the next time something unexpected happens in your life.